For Men Only

Most women just naturally like to dance. They like to show off their fancy movements, or their clothes, or their bodies, or ...

Most men don't like to dance (you'll see why below). It could be that the last time you danced was at your wedding, and you don't ever intend to dance again (at least until your daughter's wedding). But make no mistake. Your mate will appreciate any efforts you make dance-wise, and will richly reward those efforts. Trust us.

The man has the tougher job. No doubt about it. And it's made even worse by three myths. Let's dispel them, so you can get more comfortable.

Myth 1: Dancers are born, not made.

Unfortunately, most males learned by junior high or high school that they didn't know how to dance and stopped trying. Couple that with the ever-fragile male ego, and you can see why most men avoid dancing.

There's a joke about playing the piano that goes: "Can you play the piano?" "I don't know, I've never tried." But few pianists ever learned by themselves, and even fewer picked it up quickly by themselves. Dancing is the same. The reality is that a little assistance will pay big dividends.

Myth 2: I don't "have rhythm".

Many people-both men and women-have some trouble hearing the beat in the music, even if they've had musical training. But a few years ago we experienced an amazing demonstration at Stanford's "Traditions of Swing" class (taught by Richard Powers), where over 100 people (mostly beginners) were thump-thumping in perfect time, so it appears that most everyone actually does "have rhythm". Anyway, don't worry, you can get enough help-from your mate (who has by now sneaked a peek at this and damned well better be supportive), from a friend, from a seasoned dancer, whoever.

Myth 3: Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.

The reality is that it's the man's job to:
1. Plan ("choreograph") the sequence of steps
2. Communicate those steps to his partner ("lead")
3. Keep from running into people or letting your partner get run over ("floor craft")

With all these responsibilities, it's no wonder that men get discouraged. But you men can take heart in a couple of things. First, you're in control! And the better dancer you become the more you are in control. Second, every lady knows, or quickly learns, that the man's job is the tougher one and becomes pretty supportive (remember the rewards I mentioned above?).

So put your egos aside for a while, and come out on the dance floor, where you'll have lots of company of other men who are in the same boat.